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Plus–three ways to turn money shame into money courage.

The Money Shame Game

Though it’s not a game, shame’s at the root of some of your deepest money struggles.

In my last blog, I mentioned you must understand the difference between GUILT and SHAME. They look a lot alike but are very different, and this can’t be more true than when it comes to your money.

Remember, guilt’s about the behavior: “I did something ‘bad,’ or anticipate doing something ‘bad’ and may disappoint someone else. Shame’s at the core of your identity. Shame is: “There’s something inherently wrong with me.”

“Shame is who you ARE, Guilt is what you DID.”

Knowing the difference opens up to uncovering the solution, dissolving the hold these two have on you, and then increasing your personal power around money.

Shame underlines our deepest fear, “I’m not enough”–and perpetuates it–“and I never will be.” Shame lives when you think you’re alone.

My shame ran deep. I was a finance and accounting major in school. I was Vice President at two major international investment banking firms in NYC. And one day–after I moved to Colorado–I found myself outside of a financial advisor’s office in my car, crying.

While I was out working on other people’s finances, my own personal finances were a mess and an immense feeling of SHAME came over me in the car that day. Talking to that financial advisor that day, put the nail in the coffin. He said, “You know what to do, why aren’t you doing it?” I had no answer. I didn’t know.

I was supposed to know this stuff. It wasn’t my financial background that was keeping me stuck, it was the emotional side of money and the accumulated shame built up around it all that had me breaking down. I didn’t know how to handle that part.

I never wanted to expose my stupidity, ignorance, irresponsibility, until that day in the car. I said, “Enough is enough.” One step at a time, I started to acknowledge the story I was telling myself, and started telling that story out loud to my trusted people, and started searching for my own truth around money and life. I used my shame to turn it into courage.

Have you considered that shame might be holding you back from making the money you desire?

You might have some shame to work around, and that’s no problem at all because here are three proven ways that have helped me and my clients reframe money shame into money courage:

1) Know you aren’t alone.

This is why I do what I do. You aren’t alone. You aren’t broken, you aren’t needing to be fixed. You just are. That’s it. You have the ability to make a conscious choice to make this day different by reaching out, talking it out, and speaking up.

This is why I started The Money Conversations Group, where you let your relationship with money be supported by a relationship with others. I’m formally inviting you here by clicking this link. Because when you talk about money with honesty, the struggle around money falls away, and good things start happening. Believe me!

2)Let the hard feelings in.

Let the hard feelings come through as an invitation to move closer to your inherent nature of love. Write a letter from shame to you with what it wants from you. What’s it trying to tell you? Face your money resistance with grace.

3) Practice self-forgiveness.

This might be the most difficult–and that only means that it’ll give you the most power on the other side.

It’s critical to explore this step around money shame. I’ll be the first to tell you, you did what you knew to do at the level of awareness you had at the time. That’s it.

Acknowledge the emotional hook, and remind yourself of your wholeness by recognizing that you’re made up of both positive and negative aspects of the self. A self-forgiveness practice is the best money shame reset button.

I ‘ll leave you with one last question: if you’re finding yourself with feelings of shame, “What would your financial life be like without your money shame?”

I’d love to hear from you–your voice matters and everybody needs help with money at one time or another. NOBODY is doing it alone.

Email me at [email protected], connect with me at The Money Conversations Facebook group for continuing the conversation there. When you work with me you can expect open, honest conversations around money, that allow money miracles to occur over and over again, supporting you in your highest freedom and service.

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