Photo Credit: W A T A R I,

I was practicing at my Taekwondo studio the other day, when a police officer called through the front door, “Hey! Who found a phone?”

I jumped right up and said, “I did!”

Oh, good, I thought. They tracked it down.

You see, on my way to Taekwondo practice, I saw a red phone case right smack in the middle of the street. I slowly pulled up next to it and confirmed that it was a phone (and a wallet combo as well). I didn’t want to leave it there to get run over or let someone else find it. So I looked around for anyone who had that “I lost my phone!” look on their face.


On the same hand, I didn’t want to wait around forever as my Taekwondo class inched closer to the start time. For all I knew, it could take hours for the owner to realize it’s missing.

Using the name on the driver’s license, I found the owner on Facebook, sent a message, and hoped that they had access to Facebook from a laptop. My plan was to then go to Taekwondo class and follow up later hoping that the owner would call from another phone or reply to my Facebook message.

I didn’t have to wait that long . . .

When I first spoke with the police officer, I felt so happy that they had the ability to track down the phone and find me so that I could give it back.

Unfortunately, they didn’t see me as a good Samaritan. In fact . . .

They thought I was a thief.

The phone was reported “stolen,” not “lost.”

And my heart sank.

I told the story of how I came across the phone and answered all the questions. All the while, the air was filled with accusation and guilt.

I did something wrong. Or, at least, they thought I did something wrong.

The owner was actually there with the police. I could tell by the look on her face that she felt quite sad, upset, and disappointed.

It wasn’t until I mentioned that I attempted to contact the owner that the tension eased a bit.

Eventually, I conveyed that my intentions were pure and that the only “mistake” I made was attempting to return the phone on my own, instead of calling the police right away.

Fair enough.

But that experience rattled my cage. A lot.

You see, I pride myself on positive intentions and actions. I jump at opportunities to lend a helping hand. Even when it comes to fictional stories, I always cheer for the good guys:

  • I’m pro-Jedi and anti-Empire.
  • I’m pro-Sherlock and anti-Moriarty.
  • I’m pro-Harry and anti-Voldemort.

Yet, this whole experience illuminated a deep and powerful fear. It turns out that I fear my “dark” side. I fear my inner thief, inner jerk, inner evil.

However . . .

“We have infinite potential within ourselves. There’s a remarkable power within you that’s always available to be unleashed.”

As positive as those statements sound, in order to be all-encompassing at that level, we have to face a truth. In order to tap into the highest levels of love, enthusiasm, and passion, we have to recognize, accept, and even embrace our darkest and lowest levels of fear, rage, and hate. Because they’re all part of the spectrum of light.

I’ve spent nearly my entire life believing that my dark side is something to fear. I fear doing the “wrong” thing. Even if someone else believes that I did something wrong out of fear or hate, I get triggered (obviously).

But we can’t be whole–we can’t be complete–until we openly accept all aspects of who we are. We’re human, and that means we experience a full spectrum of thoughts, emotions, and actions–that’s what this column’s all about!

My intention’s that I always strive for the light, the positive, and the unconditional love that resonates with our highest level of consciousness. But now, when I experience the lowest levels of consciousness (or even when others think that I’m acting from a lower level), I accept it for what it is: validation that I’m Human.

You have the power to create joy, inflict pain, tap into intuition, be completely selfish, experience peace, or loathe another person. That’s normal and natural.

So let’s stop beating ourselves up for being human or ignoring our humanity. Because ignoring our inner darkness limits our inner light. It takes light to cast a shadow. And our shadows remind us that light’s within us as well. The Yin and Yang teaches us that there’s light within the dark and dark within the light. As a result, we experience a total balance of who we really are.

Crossing the TEA’s

Now, let’s check out the energy levels behind these Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions:

Low-Energy TEA:

  • Thought: I ignore or avoid my inner “dark side”
  • Emotions: Aversion, Avoidance, Frightened, Judgmental, Insecure
  • Actions: Focus on the “silver lining,” and ignore the cloud, or judge the cloud as bad.

High-Energy TEA:

  • Thought: I’m the totality of pure energy: a spectrum that goes from darkness to light.
  • Emotions: Open, Vulnerable, Playful, Liberated, Peaceful, Whole, Complete
  • Actions: Acceptance and non-judgment

Want to uncover how your inner light and darkness affect your experience? Schedule a free discovery call with me.

Photo Credit: W A T A R I,