Photo Credit: Drew Coffman,

Oh, the holidays! They’re here. The pressure to “show up” is here.  The period where you can blame drain and overwhelming emotions on a month filled with “overdoing” it on many levels that may deplete your physical bank account–as well as your emotional one.

So what’s going on? Drain and overwhelm often come as a sign that you’ve taken care of others first, at the expense of yourself.  This can hit hard during and after the holidays and well into January & February.

You may ask, “Well, isn’t giving supposed to be more important than receiving?”

Not if you feel like you want to collapse afterwards!

Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other. I refrain from using the word ‘balance’ because giving and receiving isn’t something we need to split 50/50 all the time. It’s, well, a give and take.

Think of it like the Yin/Yang symbol. There’s movement, interplay, and cyclicality in the symbol. No one side is greater than the other. The line that separates the two sides, down the middle, is the in and out, the up and down play . . . that’s called life–it’s the correct ‘balance’ at any given time, given the circumstances.

It’s okay to receive, it’s as necessary as giving. If you don’t have both interacting with each other, you stop the energy flow and it’ll create a state of poverty in our emotional and our physical bank account!

You can see how it shows up in your emotional bank account, so how does this show up in our physical bank account?

  • Overspending during the holidays.
  • Giving our services/products away for free (and often).
  • Not asking for the raise you know you deserve.
  • Maxing out the credit card.
  • Not tracking your expenses.

Avoiding taking care of yourself is practically the same as avoiding your money or your spending.

Ways to regain your checks and balances in both accounts:

  • Acknowledge that this is the situation with as much love and compassion for yourself as you can muster–as if you were talking to a close friend. You gave too much, you spent too much, and you did too much. See the moment for what it is, just a moment in time.
  • What’s it trying to tell you? Some of the behaviors above keep you safe from feeling your feelings. Be honest with yourself and ask, “What’s really going on here?” without judgment. This step alone moves you more into the flow and out of pain.
  • Given how you’re feeling, what’s your next best step? I’ll say it again, “NEXT best step.” 🙂
  • Bonus step: what gift could you give yourself at this moment? A bath, some time alone, a walk in nature, a couple laughs with a friend or spouse, breathing, inhabiting your body by dancing, or singing at the top of your lungs? Go for it!

No emotion is, at its essence, better than another. It’s just that some “feel” better than others. All of them have value. All of them have a place here.

Consistently ask yourself, “How do I want to feel? What do I want?” Asking these questions, with practice, you’ll become free from the hold that life has to be a certain way and you’ll consciously create an emotional state that brings in more joy and celebration, into your heart and into your wallet.

Much love and abundance to you in ALL its forms this holiday season.

Photo Credit: Drew Coffman,