Photo Credit: Tyler Nix,

Unconditional love . . . to love without judgments or expectations.


That sounds amazing. It also sounds like a pipe dream, to be frank. I mean, how many of us really experience unconditional love?

Perhaps there are gurus, monks, and other biblical figures who exude unconditional love. But is it very helpful or even practical?

And the answer is, who cares?! I believe that incorporating more unconditional love into your life will absolutely have an uplifting and positive effect.

And while unconditional love may seem like an unattainable state, how many of us are in awe of others who seem to (not only) unconditionally “like” others but really love them as well?

And guess what?

You once experienced an abundance of unconditional love every single day.

You just may have forgotten–because you were an infant at the time.

You’ve likely heard this before, but when you look deep into an infant’s eyes, you see their deep presence, their unwavering awareness, acceptance, and (you guessed it) unconditional love.

You were able to accomplish these remarkable feats because of one critical superpower–a complete lack of judgment.

Concepts like “better/worse” and “good/bad” weren’t part of your vocabulary yet. So you simply experienced life without any filters, beliefs, or perceptions.

Of course, there are some adults who spend their adult life trying to get back to this state–this place of unconditional living. And that’s a wonderful thing, and I think that people who pursue such a life are amazing.

But why completely negate the mind? Why strive to remove all judgments, beliefs, and conditions? The true power that we have as conscious adults is the ability to blend unconditional awareness, presence, and love with perceptions, interpretations, and judgments.

Why? Because this is the nature of balance.

Just as the principle of Yin and Yang teaches us that there’s an equality between light and dark (and that light exists inside of the dark, and vice versa), we simply experience judgment and non-judgment as needed.

There are times when judgment is helpful or when it’s quite beneficial to have a conditional relationship (perhaps as a business partnership).

So let’s not spend a lifetime in a cave irradicating judgment. And let’s not spend a lifetime judging all things as good/bad, right and wrong. Instead, let’s check in with ourselves and ask:


Have you been putting a lot of judgment on yourself, your family, your co-workers, or total strangers?

Have you been secluding yourself from others, consumed with personal development work?

I ask these questions to bring awareness to what’s out of balance for you right now–and with that knowledge, I remind you to take a teeny tiny step towards change. Towards regaining balance.

When setting goals with clients I like to repurpose the K.I.S.S acronym. Instead of “Keep It Simple Stupid” I change it to “Keep It Stupid Simple.” A change that’s so small and simple that it’s almost harder not to do it.

In the end, though, I believe that the path towards balance is to incorporate more unconditional love, acceptance, and presence.

The most effective way to cultivate unconditional love is CURIOSITY.

Going back to infants, notice how their eyes are so full of curiosity and wonder. They’re enthralled with the movement of a leaf on a tree, the curious sounds of birds chirping, or the feel of grass on their skin.

So let’s take a page from the great teachers (known as babies) and incorporate more curiosity and wonder into our lives. And at the same time, stand proudly in your abilities to consciously judge and create conditions that best serve your experience.

The real magic starts when you consciously choose your perspective at will. THAT’S true mastery.

Crossing the TEA’s

Now, let’s check out the energy levels behind these Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions:

Low-Energy TEA:

  • Thoughts: This is wrong. That’s not right. This can’t be. I don’t believe this. That sucks. That’s awesome. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to go.
  • Emotions: Surprise, Happy, Fear, Anger, Sad . . . pretty much the whole spectrum.
  • Actions: We usually vocalize our judgments and conditions to the person or people we’re judging (or perhaps behind their backs).

High-Energy TEA:

  • Thought: I wonder . . . I’m curious . . .
  • Emotions: Openness, Freedom, Peace, Balance
  • Actions: We tend to act in a more experimental way. Meaning, we try new things, experience new things, talk to new people, etc.
Photo Credit: Tyler Nix,