Some people hold onto their victimhood. They don’t realize that they are sitting on rocket fuel.

Zette Harbour

Your spouse just announced they’re leaving your relationship. The work and effort you’ve spent to build a successful business have ended in failure. The book you spent months writing has been rejected, again. In these moments, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the pain and distress of loss.

The experience of fear and suffering can weigh you down and bury you, or, it can propel you to create change in your life. It all depends on how you perceive it. It’s your point of view of any situation that determines the effect that it has on you.

This isn’t to say that you won’t feel fear, or suffer from unhappiness from time to time, but simply that these experiences don’t have to define who you are. It’s essential to acknowledge, embrace, appreciate, and thank your feelings for bringing the opportunity for increased wisdom into your life.

While the idea that you have a choice about how you look at things may be new to you, it only takes some new language and a willingness to experiment. For example, when someone has acted in a way that causes you pain, you usually say, ‘I’m hurt.’ You’re literally becoming the hurt.

It’s more accurate, and more empowering, to say, ‘I’m feeling hurt.’ This slight shift in language opens your mind to a new possibility. This state of hurting is not who you are, it’s something you’re experiencing and, like all experiences, it’s temporary.

I Am

Take some time today to notice how you talk about the things that are happening in your life right now. Does your language unconsciously tie your identity up in these experiences? Experiment with how you describe your feelings. Try the ‘I’m feeling . . . ‘ as a replacement for ‘I’m . . . ‘ See how this impacts your point of view. It may be a small shift at first, but it’s the first step towards supercharging your life.

Untangling your self from your distressful feelings gives you a new perspective. The act of choosing to be who you are, unburdened by being the victim of negative experiences, will open up possibilities that were unavailable before. As a result, you’ll begin to see that there is a YOU untouched by external conditions.

Practice Makes Perfect

There are ways to create the optimum environment in your brain for these changes to take place. Include at least one of the practices discussed in the links below on a daily basis. In this way, you begin to cultivate your ability to shift your experience of life’s unexpected and adverse moments.

Transforming victimhood into rocket fuel is possible. It will take many small steps to get there, but once you believe that you can, you’re halfway there.

About Zette

Zette Harbour is an iPEC certified life and leadership coach, and, an award-winning professional storyteller. Her 2 Minute Body Sense Meditation is an excellent practice to support you in accessing your intuition as a part of her online course: Empowering Wellness Through Self-Care. To connect with Zette, book a complimentary Discovery Conversation today.

Her column, Successful Awakenings explores the limitless power of awakening to the brilliant and beautiful story of who you truly are.  Follow Zette at Morphosis Coaching on Facebook.

Photo Credit: NASA,