Photo Credit: Andrei Lazarev,

Feelings are one of life’s miracles.

There are words in French that are difficult to translate, like “Etats d’Ames.”  We talk about state of soul instead of state of mind.

Many times clients call me because they feel down, sad, or angry, and they just want to move away from that feeling. The same with energy level, as soon as it goes down, they just want to move on as quickly as possible.

Why do people want to feel happy all the time?

To such a point that some even educate themselves to not feel–they cut themselves off from emotions–so they can control their life more. Or at least to have the feeling of control.

The obvious answer’s linked to the comfort they feel. Feeling down, sad, angry, and so on isn’t comfortable. Therefore, when a feeling isn’t enjoyed it makes sense to want to move away from it.

This is challenging and not always easy– and not everyone accepts to go through this process. Yet:

If you never feel sad, how do you know what happiness is?

If you never feel angry, how do you know when you’re at peace?

If you’ve never experienced being down, how do you know when you’re at your max?

Lastly, how will you connect with other people if you aren’t able to understand and acknowledge their emotions?

Some feelings may not be experienced at the same time. And there’s nothing such as bad or good feelings, positive or negative feelings. The reason all feelings are important is that they all open up something for us.

Every time you feel irritated there’s an opportunity to understand the message of that feeling. What red button’s been pushed, and why is that creating an issue for you?

Each time you feel sad, there’s an opportunity to ask yourself where that feeling’s coming from and if that situation’s affecting your life in the long run. The more we understand the message of the emotion, the more the emotion will reduce. The more we’re moving away from it, the more the emotions will intensify as the message hasn’t yet been understood.

Let’s take the easiest example: FEAR.

Types of Fear

There are two types of fear:

  1. The fear you feel when you see a lion in the room. That fear has a survival message: danger. Automatically you’ll hear the message and you’ll run away. The further you are from the danger, the less fear you’ll feel. Message understood means the emotion goes down.
  2. The fear of the lion that could be in your room. Obviously, unless you live in areas where lions frequent, the risk of having a lion in the room is close to zero. That fear’s fabricated by your mind. And it does cover a much deeper fear in general. You can spend your entire life being afraid of something that’ll most likely never happen. You may even want to order your mind not to be afraid of it. How much does that work? It doesn’t. Why? Since the brain didn’t understand what the danger was, those thoughts are still generating fear, and that fear will continue to freeze you.

Understanding the difference between those two types of fears (or emotions) is key to getting the real message.

States of Soul

To welcome more states of soul is to have a deeper, larger experience of life. Most of the time, working with a specialized coach will make the exercise easier. Here are five tips to help you go further:

  1. There are no good or bad feelings. Every feeling is an opportunity to understand, to experience, to grow. Be grateful and welcome every feeling.
  2. Running away isn’t a sustainable option. To put it differently, emotions are indicators, not feelings that cut us off from information and experiences. Not to mention that this will not solve the “issue” that generated that emotion.
  3. Whatever you feel’s your total responsibility; or said differently, what you feel will only affect you and not anyone else. Blaming life, situations, or others for what you feel will feed your emotion, yet it won’t make it go away, nor will it help you understand the deep message.
  4. Understand how real it is. The emotion you feel is powerful–no matter if it’s generated by a real factor or by a thought coming from an internal blockage; an interpretation that you believe to be the absolute truth. Ask yourself: is this true or this is my truth?
  5. Pretending this isn’t for you is equivalent of lying. Most high-level people train themselves not to feel–some decision processes are easier when they aren’t “affected” by emotions. As logical as this could be, emotions give a clear indication to make the right/best decision. We all have been gifted with emotions. Which makes us humans and not machines. Therefore, there’s always a human making the decision not a computer.

The emotions are there to be understood, not pushed down inside your heart. When we push them down, the emotions will just come up stronger because they give us a message.

When the message isn’t understood, they’ll grow stronger. They’ll become like a snowball rolling bigger and bigger inside of you until they can explode out into things like depression, difficult illnesses, and breakdowns.

Being strong doesn’t mean you don’t feel, it means you’re welcoming all your feelings with no fears.

Photo Credit: Andrei Lazarev,