What does it mean to you? Kittens are lovable. Babies are lovable, too, because they just are who they are. No one has to wonder if a baby’s hiding how they really feel!

Can you keep your sense of who you are so you know how valuable you are?

In that case, you can afford to feel vulnerable. How will you allow people to show you love if they can’t touch the real you? Being loved can be risky because you give permission for someone else to see who you really are, warts and all.  I think it’s only possible if you know for certain that you are worthy of love. You have to know you’re valuable before you can allow yourself to be vulnerable. I believe it takes as much courage to be loved as it does to love. Being lovable can mean you acknowledge the connection between all of us, because we all yearn to be loved. The implications are world changing!

“Searching all directions
with your awareness,
you find no one dearer
than yourself.
In the same way, others
are thickly dear to themselves.
So you shouldn’t hurt others
if you love yourself.”

-Rājan Sutta: The King translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu


Do you know who you are? It’s a miracle that any of us survive the nine months of development in utero. So many things can go awry! You wouldn’t be breathing and reading this if you hadn’t been put together well enough to survive birth and childhood. Somebody loved/loves you!

“Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. Rise then unto that for which thou wast created.”

-Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words – Baha’i Library Online


Do you believe you’re noble and worthy of love? Have you shown the world a mask that hides the real you? Most of us do. We wear them to protect ourselves from uncertainty, from judgment and criticism, and from the repetition of a hurtful experience.

The mask’s usually pretty. It’s a projection of what we want other people to believe about us. It hides what we believe nobody would love. It’s the way you behave with someone you like that makes them miss the treasure that you are. Do you risk allowing someone you love to see beneath the mask?

In relationships, this feeling of being unlovable manifests as people constantly attracting people who can’t love them – people who are already married or emotionally unavailable. Do you hate being alone so much that you sometimes date or even marry people you don’t want to be with?

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with”

-Wayne W. Dyer

How do you go from pretending you’re the mask to genuinely liking the person you see in the mirror?

Become More Lovable. Try These Four Things by Yourself or With a Coach:

  1. Sit or lie in a quiet place and let your thoughts wander towards a situation that made you feel unloved.
  2. Remember the first time you felt or heard that phrase. Who said it? Why did you feel it? Sometimes that phrase protects you from failure or danger when you’re very young. You also wore diapers when you were very young and they were necessary. They aren’t necessary now, though, because you’ve changed. Do you still need that phrase?
  3. Replace it. Decide what you could say to yourself instead.
  4. Practice saying that new phrase every time you catch yourself thinking of the old one.

What would change in your life if you felt the real you was so lovable that the mask would no longer fit? Working on those life changes is easier with a coach. I’ll be happy to work with you – just contact me at [email protected] or go to ClarityandPossibility.com.

Photo Credit: Aaron Burden, Unsplash.com
Photo Credit: Aaron Burden, Unsplash.com